Salbakuta (s2pid) Tales

“Stupid Love” or, your asinine postmodern edition, “S2pid Luv” a rap song accompanied with a chorus of some oldie lyrics surprisingly became a hit in the latter part of my grade school. I have heard those entire weird twangs that have become peculiar only to the teenagers wearing loose-as-plastic-bags shirts and shorts that screamed “Hey, snatch my eyes out from their sockets now!” 

These following stories of my friends and I really give me the urge to sing that “stupid” song: 

1. I was to buy an RC cola in a sari-sari store near Mini Stop along Katipunan when nobody actually was entertaining me as a precious customer. There were three girls in that shop and I got so asar because they were gossiping. I began talking to myself again, literally that is.  

I muttered “Hello? I’m gonna buy.” It so happened that they heard it and turned their eyes on me! Until a few seconds, one of them finally said,

 “Ano po iyon?” 

2. I’ve been a loyal suki (redundancy check) to the laundry shop a block away from where I stay in Marikina. The laundry lady whom I bequeath on my clothes knows me by the name Barel, yes that heavy metal weight those big guys use in the gym (with a singular L). And as for me, I always forget to remind her that my name is B-A-R-R-Y

PICTURE: Barel, 5.4 kls, P135.00

LOL.

3. Just last Monday, I spent the afternoon hanging out with orgmates Kuya Ed and birthday girl Ate Au; we went from CMC to Vinzon’s Hall (FYI: On a diagonal basis, the buildings are almost exactly opposite each other, and UP-Diliman not to mention is that vast.) We were in a store (that has wheels) which sold panlipas-gutom food i.e. fishballs, squidballs, chickenballs, kikiam and of course, drinks. We decided on eating those kwek-kwek’s (quail eggs). Intriguingly after I and Kuya Ed have eaten all of our fried “balls”, Ate Au left one egg and contemplated if she was to consume it.            

I cheered, “Go Ate Au! Kaya mo iyan!”           

She gazed at me and remarked, “Breathe in? Breathe out. Bwwwwwehhhh.”  Translation of the pseudo-onomatopoeia: she acted like she was to like to vomit from nausea. We laughed sanguinely as the store owner was looking at us. Lagot! 

4. Last Sunday, it was Manny Pacquiao’s most awaited fight. I did NOT watch it. I had to come up with a 13-page film review for Three Colors: Red (a film in 1994) for Film100. Come to think of it, even if I had no paper, I would not dare switch on the TV to watch his fistfight. Nix SMSed me that moment actually to ask me, “Sinong di nanunuod ng laban ni pakyaw?”

I retorted, “Duh, ako.” LOL.