[312] Mouse Potatoes

How many hours of your daily life do you spend on Facebook? Of course, by this, you’d definitely answer less than two or vehemently say, “Nah, I’m so cool I do not even open my FBook.” I’d perhaps give you the benefit of the doubt for the former, but I’d piss on you for the latter. Admit it: You’re not cool, you open your Facebook account at least one nanosecond every single day. You itch to wrestle anyone who challenges you to every damn virtual war and quiz around. You want to be poked and to poke people back with just a click of your mouse. You are engrossed to Facebook. Facebook is who you are.

You yourself are semi-addicted to Facebook. And why should you NOT be? It’s everyone’s plug; one who has a social network site will never overlook Fbook (quit calling it FB, it sound racy). With this, you have almost abandonedyour Friendster, which the old-school cavemen still use. You have a MySpace dump; You have a reliable yet boring Multiply; you have only five Twitter updates ever (and the idea of someone “following” you gives the hint of a stalker); you have a Plurk— which if karma points are to be considered, you’d probably end up as a termite in your next life. Nothing beats Facebook, as far as the SNS factors are concerned.

Now why semi? Well… You assume you still have a social life albeit Facebook’s prevalence. It’s one of the first five accounts you open every time you surf, you do acknowledge, but you are still not into the jillion applications it has to offer. You use the status message but refrain from writing emo passages by unknown authors. You post photos, and TAG photos even. You send virtual presents to birthday celebrators even if they don’t need any of it in reality. You play Living Social, Word Challenge and a few other interesting memes around. But in totality, like any semi-addicted zombie, your inbox is wildly seeping with invitations— to battles, challenges and quizzes. You have not yet been caught in the Pet Society craze! Whew.

Facebook is sure getting more fun and exciting day by day, you say. The site is endearing with a simple layout and thousand users to “friend” to. Your FA28 professor reveals that he spent last Christmas IN the Facebook world! Apart from this, it’s omniscient for chrissake! It can guess and prophesy: the initials of your soulmate, what were you in your past life, when you’re going to be extinct, and best of all, if You Are A Potato Or Not.

But in the long run, what is Facebook’s role in this God-forsaken universe? Is it to connect you to offline friends and online strangers across the globe? Is it to relax you from the emotional turmoil you experience every day? Is it to stage a dome for you to rule, as a champion in poking and all the games and applications? Is it to be a ground for better ideologies and protests i.e. petitions, for all Facebook cares? Or is it your god—who’s able to find you a partner, determine your closest friends or discern if you are a root crop indeed?