Say it. Say it loud. Vampire!
If Catherine Hardwicke’s Twilight was anything, I’d label it likely as… fair. As in fair directing, fair acting, fair-skinned bloodsuckers, and fairly passable. I admit to having not read the book yet, of course, and I guess of having no plans of perusing it, or any of Stephenie Mayer’s installments.
First of all, I thought vampire plus human romance was too cliché. Hello, if the devoted followers of this flick think of it as “original,” I wanted to haul them to a Troy-Bee Movie-Titanic marathon and maybe they’d just shut up. Beforehand, I had the strong urge to pray to the gods that somehow my whole travelling to Eastwood would be slaked with good entertainment. And surprisingly, I’d say I enjoyed the movie, even a huge girl crowd was shrieking cheerily behind me.
Incredibly introverted Bella Swan lived with her single father in the rainy and downcast town of Forks in Washington, where later, she got friends (even with her boundless inferiority). Feasibly, she started a distinct kind of relationship after being saved in an accident, with Edward Cullen, a fervent red lipstick user, who was of course… a vampire. Edward has always been with the rest of his family together “as in together-together,” and wholly, they were so mysterious-looking.
Bella and Edward grew fonder with each other, such that they didn’t even, uhh, smooch. The girl formed her small investigation, found out that Edward and the others were vampires, but in the end, she fell in love-wait! What? – with him. Suddenly, they were soaring from trees to mountains, and before I knew it, I briefly thought I was watching Tarzan.
Isabella: How old are you?
Isabella: How long have you been seventeen?
Edward: …a while.
I was profoundly dumbfounded with the reality that there was only one scene where I witnessed a kiss that lasted for five seconds. In that supposedly romantic scene where they were about to make out but suddenly stopped, I was bursting out of laughter deep inside. I might have to agree with my blockmate beside me then declaring, “This one apparently promotes abstinence for teenagers!”
I didn’t understand though of showing this to gullible kids who would think that love knows “no boundaries.” They might translate it to loving a blanket, a leprechaun, a traffic post, or worst, the kanto boy outside. Obviously, the movie lacked scenes where the two lead roles should visibly develop their feelings- it was too hasty. It was an excellent thing though; at least the cheesiness was diminished.
Edward: And so the lion fell in love with the lamb.
Isabella: What a stupid lamb.
Edward: What a sick, masochistic lion.
My favorite scene would be the baseball game wherein the apt music was played (which I think was played by Linkin Park). It was so intense, I thought of joining them. The sky-scraping jumping and all were like the best things vampires could do. Realistically, if I were given superpowers, I’d prefer having enhanced senses (i.e. Callisto of X-Men). I wanna be a vampire now. But I figured I’m addicted to sleeping.
And so in the same awesome scene, came three unknown non-vegetarian vampires creepily across the field. Bella was clearly anxious that Laurent, James and Victoria might devour her in a sec. When everything was about to get by, James smelled Bella’s pheromone and announced, “You brought us meal!” Immediately, everyone posed as if to begin a catfight and my excitement meanwhile zoomed up! Extract the romantic drivel and time for an action, I almost ejaculated.
But the thrill stopped, and the next one was only in the ballerina hall where Bella was about to be eaten by James. When Edward came to the rescue, he was a no-match, and when Alice, Emmett and Jasper leaped in, I saw fineness in the movie. This was supposed to be IT, I said.
When James was killed, I theorized of Victoria the “wicked curve ball,” to avenge her beau. At the moment where pedophiliac Edward and self-important Bella danced in the prom alone, a woman was watching them afar. I knew, with that fur, that she was Victoria. And I thought another action has to begin!
However, ignorant me got disappointed as the scene turned black and white, and the credits flashed in. That’s what I call perfectly bitin. Thank you, Hardwicke.
Lastly, whoever’s with me to agree that Bella was hellishly stupid?
Edward: I only said it would be better if we weren’t friends, not that I didn’t want to be.
Isabella: What does that mean?
Edward: It means if you’re smart… you’ll stay away from me.
Isabella: I think you’ve made your opinion of the subject on my intellect clear, too.