Thesis Really It
More or less after a year, you would spot me already wretched in a capricious grade-conscious mode in the CMC library, winking teary and chinky eyes, perpetually flipping books and unpublished theses, jotting down like a seismograph measuring earth tremors, all in the love of holy research, err… thesis. [Thesis Not It]
S c r e w i t !
I never thought I’d be chewing on my words when I blogged about it last year. I’m here aghast by the realization that I Do Not Have a research problem yet. It’s weird is it not? My problem is looking for a problem. I’m bereft of focus, of inclination, of passion to go not suck up and head to the library and look up for subjects of discourse, inhale and utterly masticate likable trends, current events and all that shit. Or at least to pretend to.
It turns out I am not having a thesis partner, which is just as well allowed in our department. This therefore means that I am going to sail the academic gloaming alone, far from the pressures of professors for duos. Also, my interests in the field are also not so complementing other individuals’, even if they belong to the closest friends I’ve gotten. Altogether, as to avoid further compromise. In our J199 class composed of about 20 students, half I think are going solo. Individualism, anyone? Lol.
And now what? What topic do I have in mind? I already have but to be published not so soon. I have yet to consult with my adviser.
Funny how even way before, I have been thinking of my probable topic and look where I am now… clueless and shoeless, that’s all. I heave a sigh.