I’ve always believed that God gave me this unimpeachable ability to memorize verbatim lines from movies, TV, books and even real-life conversations. These quotes make up my day such that I’ll remember them and can even make dissertations out of them. I can be an organic voice recorder so for starters, you should bear in mind that whatever you say can be “used against you.” No matter how witty (“Circumcision is a rite of passage and a very painful one” – Socio101 professor) or small-minded (“A person’s a person no matter how small” – Horton in Horton) or superficially true (“One thing about virginity is you can never take it back” – Serena van der Woodsen in Gossip Girl) or profound (“Revenge comes in all shapes and sizes” – Lucas Scott in One Tree Hill, I can get them stuck in my head for so long.
(One time I was with two orgmates and we were posting a pubmat on a bulletin board. One of them was pretty hard-up tearing the tape such that the other pronounce “You suck.” The reply was scandalous, ”That’s because I’m gay.”)
Lately, my brain has been bombarded by great quotes from current events I could hardly contain them. For one, there’s the piquant Makati City Rep. Teddy Boy Locsin who went frustrated by the incongruence of Smartmatic officials’ evaluation on the PCOS machines. “You sons of bitches! You had us standing here guaranteeing to the public and the world that even if fraud is committed, we would be able to trace it. We never said that fraud could never be committed, but you said we could trace it. But now, you tell me that at 10 in the evening, you could do it and we would never know?” he cried over Heider Garcia.
And I feel like saying no more. Furthermore, his chairmanship on the House committee on electoral reforms and suffrage made him point out that “Koala Boy” won’t be regarded highly unless the latter comes forward. “I have no obligation to listen to a man dressed as an animal,” Wildz, no?
If I remember it right, zingers like these never came out amusing from that former Justice Secretary Raul Gonzales. Who I obviously loathed. I can’t take that guy. I would swear off my weird ability altogether if I had to listen to him for a straight minute. And there’s the controversial gap in ABS-CBN’s Showtime (I watch everything) between the punk Tado and comedienne Vice Ganda. A debate on what’s so wrong about being “gay” spiced up the show. Between Ted Failon’s crude translation of the word touchscreen into “pahipo-hipo,” and Senate President Juan Ponce Enrile’s remark on election 2010 fraud, “We do not want koala bears or polar bear or brown bear or black bear or Blackberry,” I can sit all day and get entertained.