Until You Love Me
I am an amateur at stalking. My optimum ability relies on Facebook’s inescapable live feed such that in seconds, I’d have already known a terabyte of information even from the lives of the ridiculously un-stalk-able. It was torturous and the only solution leads down to the infamous “Remove from Friends” button.
The other night, I tried employing my Chuck-inspired skillz over my favorite Filipina author Jessica Zafra (She’d beg off to be called such if she’d read this). I looked at her blog and see a post saying that she had left signed Twisted 8 1/2 copies at her optometrist in the UP Shopping Center. And since the life of a bum ain’t a bitch after all, I went there the morning after and anticipated whatever came next. Maybe I would see her, maybe I won’t. Repeat: I’m an amateur stalker. I need a mentor.
It was my first time to enter the haven of Zafra and her eyeglass funkiness. I pushed the glass door and it didn’t budge at all. It appeared locked. I scanned the sign and it said, Knock first. Did they know that I am a stalker? Hmm. Plus points for me. And so I did knock. A woman in her 40s clutched the door for me from the inside.
“Do you have Jessica Zafra’s Twisted books?” I politely asked.
“Yes we do.”
“I’ll buy two,” I said, the other one’s for a CMC friend who asked for an order straight from Davao via Twitter.
The woman brought out the two little books and while she was waiting for my turn to pay, I chose to look for the picture I saw in her blog. That picture in her blog. I immediately stuck out my camera phone and took the doll-and-books picture as if I was redoing the whole thing above. (Note: My Motorola phone has a US-based network I can never learn to tweak. So Bluetooth and mobile Internet both don’t work out here. Boo.)
“Okay, you can take a picture,” the woman blurted. She’d already sense that I was a spy. And I was An Obvious Spy in her face. I figured that I was a giveaway so next thing I did was what a real customer would do: Pay up.
“Are you Miss Zafra’s optometrist?” (See how giveaway I was?)
“Yes,” she smiled.
“Thank you,” I reciprocated her altogether niceness and the weird Zafra connection I just sopped up from her. I’ll forever suck at stalking. Dammit.