Gives You Head
I just learned that the larger a person’s skull, the less prone he is to Alzheimer’s disease. I am completely satisfied with the form of my head, the way my occipital and temporal bones are situated to discourage people from judging that I at least “look” dumb. But then again, we have something called relativity, k?
Next time someone calls you a bighead, you have the perfect rejoinder – scientists now say a large head can protect you against brain disease Alzheimer’s. [The Sun]
Not that I”m too old for the dementia plague but it always helps to know that having my sorta large head is just as helpful as having my huge left ear. (Trivia about my anatomy: My right ear is observably smaller than the other.) And as the report stated, so do J.Lo hips, flat feet, short toes, and, yes, Twiggy-like breasts. They are likely better for you than the opposite cases.
In contrast, without trying to brandish the following, I AM the opposite cases. I have slim hips, sculpted feet, bony toes and I’m manboobs-free, so that leads me to be in the middle of the Grim Reaper situation. My huge head + huge left ear VERSUS my small right ear and a few tolerable features.
W-Wait, we’re talking about going nuts now?
Nevertheless, Jessica Zafra wouldn’t mind. Once I read, she whipped out a tape measure and circled it round her head. And she ciphered 24 inches. Two feet! Now that’s BIG. As far as I know, the world’s largest head goes to someone named Ryan The Dum Bosnian Coates. Huh? On second thought, Google spared me the risks of bumping into a porn site given how racy innocuous terms could get. Bummer.
Anyhow, what I really care now above everything else is MY CURRENT HAIR. (What, you didn’t think I’d problematize on hair? My hair is an extension of my self, just so you know.) The dilemma has gone on for weeks now, with my persistence to keep it long so I could achieve a Tony Stonem (“Everyone” episode) look. Or a Luke Pasqualino one. Or off-Skins, a wavy Matt Bomer’s. The boho bangs are crawling out of my forehead and could already creep by themselves. And I haven’t been doing anything! The situation has gone shabby though, with my hair going ginormous it can eat innocent passersby.
My high school bud Joshua— an artiste– has been stopping me from going to the salon lately. As he would like me to grow my hair like that of the entire members of Led Zeppelin! Oh-kay. But if he was really serious about it, he could’ve suggested Xie Qiuping. But that would be too much. As for now, I just want Tony Stonem’s hair and I want it now.
I WANT THIS.
SADLY, MINE’S TURNING MORPHING INTO THIS.
Fck, this post is so gay. Bye.