Gives You Head

I just learned that the larger a person’s skull, the less prone he is to Alzheimer’s disease. I am completely satisfied with the form of my head, the way my occipital and temporal bones are situated to discourage people from judging that I at least “look” dumb. But then again, we have something called relativity, k?

Next time someone calls you a bighead, you have the perfect rejoinder – scientists now say a large head can protect you against brain disease Alzheimer’s. [The Sun]

Not that I”m too old for the dementia plague but it always helps to know that having my sorta large head is just as helpful as having my huge left ear. (Trivia about my anatomy: My right ear is observably smaller than the other.) And as the report stated, so do J.Lo hips, flat feet, short toes, and, yes, Twiggy-like breasts. They are likely better for you than the opposite cases.

In contrast, without trying to brandish the following, I AM the opposite cases. I have slim hips, sculpted feet, bony toes and I’m manboobs-free, so that leads me to be in the middle of the Grim Reaper situation. My huge head + huge left ear VERSUS my small right ear and a  few tolerable features.

W-Wait, we’re talking about going nuts now?

Nevertheless, Jessica Zafra wouldn’t mind. Once I read, she whipped out a tape measure and circled it round her head. And she ciphered 24 inches. Two feet! Now that’s BIG. As far as I know, the world’s largest head goes to someone named Ryan The Dum Bosnian Coates.  Huh? On second thought, Google spared me the risks of bumping into a porn site given how racy innocuous terms could get. Bummer.

***

Anyhow, what I really care now above everything else is MY CURRENT HAIR. (What, you didn’t think I’d problematize  on hair? My hair is an extension of my self, just so you know.) The dilemma has gone on for weeks now, with my persistence to keep it long so I could achieve a Tony Stonem (“Everyone” episode) look. Or a Luke Pasqualino one. Or off-Skins, a wavy Matt Bomer’s. The boho bangs are crawling out of my forehead and could already creep by themselves. And I haven’t been doing anything! The situation has gone shabby though, with my hair going ginormous it can eat innocent passersby.

My high school bud Joshua— an artiste– has been stopping me from going to the salon lately. As he would like me to grow my hair like that of the entire members of Led Zeppelin! Oh-kay. But if he was really serious about it, he could’ve suggested Xie Qiuping. But that would be too much. As for now, I just want Tony Stonem’s hair and I want it now.

I WANT THIS.

Tony Stonem - Nick Hoult (Pic Googled)

OR THIS.

Freddie Mclair - Luke Pasqualino (Pic Googled)

SADLY, MINE’S TURNING MORPHING INTO THIS.

Led Zeppelin (Pic Googled)

Fck, this post is so gay. Bye.

About barrycyrus

Hi, I'm Barry Viloria, 21 and not a blogger. I occasionally bitch about what's hot, what's not, what's life-threatening and what's Blake Lively wearing but I refuse to be called a "blogger." That's it.

Posted on August 19, 2010, in Something Sciency, Style and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 27 Comments.

  1. Gees, hope your hair will go to the direction the way you want it. Don’t worry, as your mind thinks of it, the rest of your body will follow. hehe. Ewan ko lang sa hair kung applicable yun.

  2. we’ll all end up with the last picture i guess, ahahaah
    malaki din head ko so hindi tayo prone sa dementia
    kidding aside it’s a serious matter
    if God willing i want my life fruitful until the day na tumanda ako na may pakinabang and kung wala na kunin na niya ako
    ayokong madanasan yung dementia

    with your hair, hmmmmmm achieve(able) naman yung gusto mo eh (i look your pic on the right side while typing this)
    let it grow longer pa. ehehehe

    be blessed

    • I’ll clutch myself a saw, if we do all end up like the Led Zeppelin! haha My hair is unmanageable such that I want it naman to be very bohemian. But then it’s becoming irritating at windy times. Lol. I remember a dialogue bet. a hairdresser and me once:

      ME: Makapal po yung buhok ko no?
      HER: Actually, Sir, no. Kulot siya. Kulot na buhaghag.

      (I knew for a fact that my hair is nothing but kulot, that bitch. LOL.)

      But thanks for giving me the heads up! I hope you didn’t develop night blindness while looking at my so-2009 pic.

  3. I have an unmanageable hair as well and I wanted to have it long. Sadly, after two months of bad hair days, I had my hair cut yesterday and realised that I should stick to a short do.

  4. This post is so gay, and I’m loving it. =)

  5. i like freddie’s hair. but that’s too much of an effort to maintain.

  6. @ BarryCyrus..!
    buti na lang…
    nag post ka nito..!
    when you said…
    you like his hair…
    as a reply to my comment before…
    i thought…
    you were…
    referring to…
    another kind of hair..!
    hahahahahaha..!
    sorry..!
    marami kasi…
    hair si…
    nicholas hoult eh..! 😆

  7. weird nung mas malaking tenga sa kabila. hehe anyway, i used to have a long hair nung nasa university pa ako. had to cut it nang pumasok sa corporate. for decency raw. tama ba yun?

  8. For real? Nice, my family used to always make fun of me for having a big head, but now I see it’s actually good for something!
    I wish my hair would grow ginormous, but unfortunately, it’s withering away, and I’m too damn young for that. Ugh.

  9. I think Luke’s hair would match you better than Nic’s or maybe that’s just my bias toward flat hair hahaha I like hair with a body.

  10. Grabeeee! Wala lang, lately I’m having hair issues, too. I want my hair to grow long na ulit the way it was back in college, pero nagtampo na ata. It’s been 2 months since I had it straight, kasi layered siya before, pero hindi pa rin humahaba. And it’s making me sad! 😦

    Wuu. Good luck on our hair endeavors! LOL

  11. my friend has the largest skull in the world..lol.. so don’t worry..

  12. The classic hair dilemma. We know Stonem has an entire crew of hair stylists on set, but we continue believing that hair will naturally lose volume ( or gain, depending on the style ), go shine, and twist and twirl just so.

    I sometimes spend half an hour just waiting for my hair to cooperate. Not styling it. Just waiting. 😀

    • Haha my ~style is inclined to let it just hang there. Get a fan or towel to dry the hair. Then comb it so neatly it would shame Old Hollywood actors. Then finely, just shag it with your hand into wild disarray. And voila! Boho Tony Stonem achieved!

      The trick is to not make it appear that you spent time to make your hairl ook good. 😛

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