Empire Stage of Mind
So the singing corps of Will Schuster officially returned for second season yesterday. Fact: Matt, the other dancing football guy transferred somewhere else. Fallacy: Every single McKinley High soul wants to replace him even if immediate hospitality is guaranteed. New Directions kicks off with slushied slates– the still loser club everyone thinks of, and I missed them. So did everyone.
Oh God, Will, let me break it down for you. High school’s a dry run for the rest of your life. Not everyone can be champions; not everyone should be champions. The world needs fry cooks, bus drivers…
Totally enjoyed the Glee season premiere, better than some WJW (short for “Wrong. Just wrong“) eps in the back-nine of S01. But, as usual, I can’t help myself to notice:
- Rachel Berry‘s bangs make her nothing but super hot now. And the way she pathologically grabs whatever she could just to hold on to power, or briefly, what she’s been doing all her life, amuses me so much.
- Coach Beiste is so likable! I mean she’s 2000% more mature than Sue, yet equally terrifying!
- I was kinda grossed out by Puck‘s intreview in the locker room. When he was doing ~something to his pits, I felt the urge to… puke. Pun intended.
- Tina Cohen-Chang AND Mike Chang? I’m glad Mike’s uttering more than one line for the series now. And true, his abs destroyed Artie‘s relationship with Tina. Cos it seemed that not even Kevin Mchale’s boy band past could surpass a guy in zipped-down jumper suits gliding in slow-mo at some Asian camp. Lulz. And another thing, ArTina was boring til now so yeah, nice catching up, you guys!
- And welcome back manipulative, bitch-as-hell Quinn Fabray! I MISS YOU SO MUCH I COULD’VE MILKED SANTANA’S BOOBS AND SPRAYED THE JUICE TO HER AUNTIES! I adore how she totally walks through the hallways and “people parted like the Red Sea.” Is she battling with Santana for queen bee status? Cos no doubt, Quinn is someone who never ever backs down. And Santana’s just a mean, stereotypical cheerleader who can’t wield authority the way Quinn does. Dianna Agron, stay hot okay?
- Also a Cheerio who is not to be missed: Brittany, hey! She just wanted to touch Coach Beiste’s boobs, that’s all, and she recites it effortlessly I could’ve died and gone to Ohio myself. Super LOL!
- And Becky, the lisping Cheerio at the auditions = WIN. “Oh my goth, coath!” “Am I threaming? Ith thith thappening?”
- Chord Overstreet aka Sam Evans. Why so awkward? When he sang “Billionaire,” he looked like a baby who woke up in the middle of the night crying, thanks to diapers full of pee. I could’ve preferred Skins star Mitch Hewer for the role. Oh well…
- Reference jokes to the Philippines well-delivered. And not totally racist! “Your name is Sunshine Corazon cos you’re from the Philippines where it’s sunny everyday,” Rachel idiotically points out. “Except in the monsoon,” retorts Charice’s character. LOL.
- Then again, I still can’t get over why a Filipina has to be named “Sunshine Corazon.” Do you even know someone last-named Corazon? Add up Sunshine which then would be good enough for some young, naive yet sultry lady Eddie Garcia would be paired with in his ancient movies.
- And still, on Charice (sorry I can’t seem to type Sunshine Cora… there I just typed it, dammit!), can someone better style her? Kurt and Mercedes can have her do a makeover. That kid has a pre-junkie Whitney Houston voice, and this is what she gets? A retro, eclectic Cher Horowitz possessed by a teenybopper Jolina Magdangal? Gah.
- Where the hell was Emma Pillsbury?!
Sorry my ~commentary absolutely sucks. I’m too tired to put out something better. But there, obviously I enjoyed the show’s first ep. And next week, we’ll have the Britney-Spears-themed one. Ack, Ryan Murphy why so exciting now? I see though the hype was all worth it.
How about you guys? Whatchathink of the season premiere?
Please be reminded that all screencaps here are by FOX’s Glee Pictures and Images.