Diet Another Day
I’m not a healthy person, that’s pretty obvious. Vegetables are my mortal enemies; I eat veggies when I just feel like it. I better sing Journey’s Open Arms than stuff my mouth with anything that belongs to the “Glow” food. I like lettuce coleslaw, malunggay and broccoli, and so on, though. My mom’s post-stroke case has led her to watch her diet with the copiousness of, eww, gulay. Everybody listen now!
Thanks to my mom’s neurologist, a jolly, smart, straight-arrow flirty male doctor (I’m really sensing a lot wrong here. Anyway…), I learned the following pointers which I think I should too heed soon knowing that I am TOO unhealthy. My mother needs to follow a balanced diet (in our words, dyeta ng nagpapapayat) so she can easily move her muscles with a lighter weight– accompanied by thrice-a-week therapy sessions. Eventually she’ll walk again.
I nevertheless feel like following the same diet because I want to be fit. (I now have the recipe for a palatable GV food that consists of SkyFlakes, the Omega-3 fiber-full lightweight one, sauced with Del Monte tomato ketchup. It’s delicioso, promise!) Although, I do not wish to become fit just because people tell me I should. (Please, Matthew McConaughey you don’t fool me.) I want to become one so I can be more sturdy– both physically and mentally. With ~employment over the corner, being health-conscious is nothing dangerous. So folks, read the following without hesitation although you already know most of them:
- Cholesterol is a slut— it’s easy on the eyes but it can ruin your life. The best type of oil to cook your food with is olive oil. And olive oil is expensive. Bummer.
- There is no such thing as vegetable oil cos in the first place, you can’t squeeze oil from vegetables.
- Chicken breast is the only thing non-fatty in a chicken. Meanwhile the most fatty is also the most yummy: The Dreaded Wings.
- All kinds of fish are best especially tunas and salmons. Other seafood are okay but crabs, squids, octopi… no no.
- The healthiest fruits are bananas and apples. If we had blueberries in town, they’d also count, with all those antioxidants.
- To balance sugar intake, don’t eat too much fruits per meal. Half a fist-sized apple for breakfast and another for lunch is A-okay. Hence the quote, “An apple a day keeps the doctor away.”
- Doc McFlirty also suggests that if you want to ~really lose weight, don’t eat rice. Then again, it’s like suggesting, “Stop being Pinoy.”
- Oatmeal is a good substitute for rice. Then again, you could only inhale much. Question: Does champorado count as oatmeal?
- Soft drinks are a dangerous beverage for the diabetic. And my mother used to buy at least a case a week. She was so into Coke she resisted Pepsi or other knock-offs; we couldn’t trick her cos her taste buds are destined to determine Coca-Cola from other sodas.
- The least worse soft drink? The white ones: Sprite, 7-Up, etc.
- The best factor in losing weight or just being fit now is moderation. Don’t worry about those billboards which feature the abs and calves of the century. Face it, those models almost died having those “sexy” figures. They may have the body to swoon for but come on, with a balanced diet, you can have a tolerable body and eat lechong kawali without all the guilt trapped within the insecurities of this universe.