What’s with my emo tweets? Gross.
They say all good things come to an end. Or, there’s nothing permanent in this world. Add to the list the many self-consoling maxims that will attempt to make you feel better even if you goddamm know nothing’s going to fix your frown. Even if they’re going to bribe you with
a bar bars of Snickers (effectiveness maybe dependent), you end up succumbing up to the fact that it’s, well, hopeless. That there’s nothing left to fight for.
Together with a few of my friends, I’ve been in my worst days ever. It’s been the kind of worst where I couldn’t even pull my self together anymore. I was hurt so much I couldn’t even pass a day without tearing up at least once a day (Yes, I do cry at times). For those curious, let’s just say that soon I’ll be leaving something that I’ve really loved. And it’s been so hard for me, and my friends, to let go.
In shooing away the feeling, I sometimes pretend I’m in a Skins episode titled, yes, Barry; wherein I’m just walking hobo-like, bowing toward the pavement, puffing a stick or two. I then end up swimming on my own murky delta of frickin’ loneliness and confusion. Playing in my head is some Alexi Murdoch single, say Orange Sky: “My hearts been broken… Sometimes, sometimes my mind is too strong to carry on…”
Such amount of loneliness and disappointment isn’t that hard to empty out, see. It still hurts, hurts so bad. But lately, you know, I’ve realized that maybe it’s not what meets eye… but it’s beyond that. That maybe things will work out for me in the end.
Now where did I hear that quote saying being strong is sometimes not about holding on to things, but it’s about letting go? I have no idea but it has stick with me since. I just hope wherever I’ll be heading to, I’ll be brave. “Don’t seem like no choice to me,” as The Strange Boys would say.