For once, let’s not talk about Blake Lively’s mammary glands

I saw it coming: Green Lantern was gonna stink. I’d put the blame on the following factored altogether: Ryan Reynolds’ charisma withering, the ~obscenity*~ knowing that Ryan in a costume was actually naked while shooting (WTF CGI?!), a storyline beyond confusing and illogical (notwithstanding my given disinterest in the DC character), the (non) special effects, and, the disappointment my future concubine, Blake Lively was.

In brightest day, in blackest night… No evil shall escape my sight… Let all who worship evil’s might… Beware my power, Green Lantern’s light! [The Oath]

I don’t really wanna go on blabbering how horrid the movie was with effects inspired by those animated OBBs Play Station generation 1 games have had. Lest I get redundant. Besides, as I rebut myself, the movie had me with all scenes where Blake was in.

Blake Lively as Carol Ferris (Photo Googled)

Frankly, thanks to the brunette Barbie–who, in real life, has danced a photo scandal tango recently–Martin Campbell still deserves some props. Blake had me  glued to my seat throughout with her every glance, stare, mumble, stride, more mumble. Hahaha. Worthless fanboy I am.

I knew, though, that Blake could have done better other than looking mighty gorgeous. For Chrissake, she pulled off a junkie mom with a Bostonian accent in The Town! (I haven’t seen The Private Lives of Pippa Lee though.)

Sorry Hector but Hal Jordan is the ONLY lord of the ring. Lol. (Photo Googled)

Our only consolation for her Green Lantern role is she’s not playing a train wreck dumbass. As a mater of fact, she’s actually the responsible one in the movie. As the corporate drone Carol Ferris, she got me at her sermon on Hal Jordan, “I used to sleep in then I turned eleven.”

***

So that’s three movies out of the four that I’ve promised myself to watch in the theaters. Click the hyperlinks for my so-called reviews of Thor and X-Men: First Class. Captain America, you’re up next!

About barrycyrus

Hi, I'm Barry Viloria, 21 and not a blogger. I occasionally bitch about what's hot, what's not, what's life-threatening and what's Blake Lively wearing but I refuse to be called a "blogger." That's it.

Posted on June 24, 2011, in Mmmovies and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 10 Comments.

  1. Haha! I love the title! Ang I still hate Blake Lively!!! >:P

  2. Didn’t watch it. And I’m so glad I didn’t. Next in line, The Tree of Life.

  3. Still havent seen the movie because of lukewarm-bad reviews. Hay.

  4. I think I saw you somewhere, Mister Barry.

  5. I don’t really like Superhero movies. But if I could spend more than two hours of my life watching a movie while imagining Ryan Reynolds filming it nude.. well, that sounds enjoyable, no? Pervert much. Haha.

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