Category Archives: Pointlessness
This time, it’s serious: I feel like like splitting myself into half because of the amount of busy that has penetrated my entire body.
It’s the kind of busy that has annoyed myself and the people closest to me—amongst them are my parents, who call at the most random hours of the day to share a (petty) chat. The worst scenarios would be during typhoons. In the middle of a writing or editing session at the office, my mother, who’s in the province, would ring my phone to tell me that the roads of Metro Manila have already been washed out with flood water. As if I didn’t know that already, she’d command, “It’s flooded everywhere! You should head home now!”
Only a few understands. Some people just don’t. I sometimes don’t feel explaining the nature of my job, or… why I’m so busy. I don’t like telling them that I spent the month of June, with days when I would literally wake up, take a bath, brush my teeth, head to work, then return home, brush my teeth, take a bath, sleep… then do the same as the sun rises anew.
On a separate note, some thinks I’ve completely left my duties to do/finish our, yes, college yearbook. My college batchmates are getting upset by the minute. Again, I deeply apologize for soooo not having done it on time. I’m actually always trying to squeeze it in my schedule, believe it or not. And again, it’s already in the final works so I hope you just give me more time.
I know, my non-life is crazy and, like I said, annoying. But I’m going to change that for myself, foremost. Lately, at least, I’ve been attempting to complete my sleep hour-minimum of nine. Tonight, for example, on a day that’s not completely loaded with work, I’m supposed to go for a drink with some friends. But I think I might just stay at home. See, now, I value sleep more than anything. It’s when I sleep that I get the best chance to be with myself and away from it all.
As much as I enjoy Christmas—evident on how I’d always wind up straight to the table to help myself when I’m “hungry”—I see New Year’s as a more meaningful event. First, there’s no compulsory gift-giving. Secondly, almost everyone from all religions ~celebrate*~ altogether, for once.
True, I maybe branded as a killjoy for avoiding those dangerous, startling pyrotechnics hurled by brainless brats on the streets. However, I’d make up on this nonconformity by loving fireworks. Just staring at the sky to watch those colorful fireworks shoot, explode, disintegrate. Ahhh.
Staring at fireworks, especially with a captivated mob, enlivens a communal longing for beauty—a kind of beauty that’s not touched but can only be seen from afar. There’s a shared feeling that we’re all just puny and powerless. It reminds us that we’re all equal, whose dreams fling beyond the stars.
I thought I could blog during my birthday (September 17) but thanks to my buzzkill of a schedule, I haven’t even had a chance to greet myself on this online diary. But yeah, if you’re interested to know, I just turned 21. It’s my debut (or coarsely in Pinoy lingo, “deboo”). I find growing a year older way too existential for me. Considerably a last-born among my batch, I’ve learned to pinpoint age as a major factor in life: In success, and in tragedy. ( Read more… )